Don't Be Gentle; I'm Not Used to It

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Don't Be Gentle; I'm Not Used to It
by Guy Valentine

Caveat Lector! The book before you contains more sticky steamy stuff per square inch than a communal sleeping-mattress in a teenage nudist colony. (It's not a Rube Goldberg operation here).

This is a compendium of one-liners; instances of premium wit that get your heart pumping like a sphygmomanometer bulb in the hands of a jumped-up jackhammer-operator. Naturally, they're illustrated, because life is a multimedia event. And everything is true that isn't false.

So, if you see me someday, in the street, with friends or alone, and you find it in your heart to say hi, remember...don't be gentle; I'm not used to it.

About the Author

Guy Valentine was born in Portland, Oregon, and earned a Master of Arts degree in Theater Arts from Portland State University. He has been a flight attendant in New York City, a librarian in Honolulu, and an English teacher in Los Angeles.

Dont Be Gentle; Im Not Used to It is his second publication as author/illustrator. His first, Slang is Doom Reviled Slob; My Symbols Deliver Mood-Signals! is a collection of startlingly original adult-appropriate palindromes. He is also the singer/songwriter of the rock & roll album Soi Cowboy Serenade(s).

Guy is a passionate supporter of animal rights and fruitarianism. His website address is

(2014, Paperback, 90 pages)